laser beams and love

Here's something that I have been thinking about lately, it makes me feel slightly comforted and slightly depressed, but here it is.
What if, we all had little laser beams and when the time is right for us, we release our beams at people.
The actual targets of our beams might not have much to do with anything except that we are ready, they are there, and there is something that is drawing us to them (good looks, sweet smile, charisma, their smell...)
What if, when we are ready for something in our lives, maybe we just aim and shoot? Then, we go about doing what we are ready to do, in terms of learning about ourselves, surrendering, trusting, committing, or in so many cases, suffering. Maybe, because who gets shot, is, mostly arbitrary, in my laser beam equation, this leads to so much of our suffering, heartbreak, loneliness...divorce?

I mean, think about your failed relationships, or just some of the jerks you even fell for, the ones that really hurt, you were probably ready for something that the person you laser shot was not ready for, or maybe even not looking for...Then, we go around heartbroken and sad because we made this huge effort and perhaps spent years of our lives in it, we shot our beam at this person and we didn't get what we were shooting for.
We even go out to shoot new targets and tell these new targets about our bad past shots (or they tell you about theirs)! (a little fucked up, right?).
Think about that shot you had that cost you so much time and suffering, only to turn out to be a TOTAL waste of time...and yet, even though you know it, you still think about them, they still jump around in your head like target practice and all you want to do is shoot them, although not so much with your fancy little laser beam... I think that these shots, the ones we just can't let go of are probably because we had big shit to learn or try to learn, we were super ready for it and the targets were just dead wrong. Because other bad shots, well, they just don't haunt us. See what I'm saying?
Anyhow, it's not that I am not a romantic, or don't believe in love, au contraire, but seriously, does life need to be this intense?...
and, like magic, just as I typed this last sentence, a past shot, a LONG shot comes to mind. He was so un-intense, so un-passionate about me that I could have died a thousand deaths and he never would have even noticed, until, as a good friend recently reminded me, he noticed that my half of the bills weren't paid.

So, yes, I will take the intensity, I will aim again, I will shoot and I will see who gets hit with my beam and try and decide whether I should quickly throw it back in and let it go or take it home and figure out what it is I am supposed to learn from it. And I am not saying that it might not take a few shots at the same target sometimes, but, maybe every so often, two people target each other, simultaneously, both shoot, and both happen to have the same stuff to learn. And, then again, sometimes the short shots are pretty great too, don't you think?

A Cocktail Party!

Yesterday my Mom called asking for a favor...could I please whip something up to send via email, for a cocktail party that she and her husband will be hosting...here's what happened! (if you ever need invitations, announcements, postcards etc, I would love to whip something up for you too)

100 years young!

This will be the first and only time that I have the opportunity to design an invitation for my grandfather's 100th birthday party, this September. What an honor. I kept it simple and sophisticated, in greys and black on a just-off-white card, and charcoal grey envelope (from one of my favorite paper stores in the world, Nota Bene). I printed them on my HP ink jet printer.

My grandfather is quite an amazing man, he grew up in Montreal, adored my fabulous grandmother Frances until she passed away, and told me just last week, that he lots of plans with her when he joins her one day. He played football for the very first Professional Montreal Football club and worked in the textile business selling fabrics for many many years. He had hip replacement surgery in his nineties and decided that it was a good time to give up his driver's license, 2 years ago (thank GOD!).
He still lives on his own, resents wearing his hearing aid and teeth, and is as sharp as a tack.
I only hope that I will have as long and as amazing a life as my grandpa Irving.
It should be quite a party :-)

The Head of the Class!

I have done some fun little jobs lately, like immediate gratification for a designer.
As much as I love the big jobs, sometimes the little ones are just, well, refreshing!
Both were to design new website headers.
The first was for the adorable and talented Nicole Cohen of www.sketch42blog.com
She was a dream client, really knew what she wanted and could communicate it beautifully (sounds like a no-brainer, but you would be surprised how hard it can be for some clients to tell you what they want!).
Plus, I was using her gorgeous painting as the header's backdrop...hello?, again, makes my job easy. She told me what she was thinking, I proposed some ideas and, as she is so adept at doing (read her blog!) she took it to the streets for opinions...In the end, chose the typography that she liked the best. I think she chose very well and am proud to say that I helped her design her new header. I am a fan of her blog and her work, take my advice, spend some time on her site.

The next header was for my fabulous friend, writer (can't-believe-we-met-through-twitter-because-she-feels-like-freaking-family!) www.nataliekarneef.com  She, knew a little less, what she wanted, but,  she did know what she liked, again, a good starting point (read on). My challenge was to find the thread that brought all the things she liked together (or some of them). Here are some examples of what she liked; vintage-ish, turquoise, red, brown, green, granny wallpaper, flowers, black and white photographs, good humor, drinking humor (she'll appreciate me sharing that!)  and naturally, as you'd suspect... old maps, typewriters, motorbikes and scooters... (this was not the entire list) but, let's face it,  it's pretty obvious, right?
Here's what she got,

Ok, it might not have been that simple, we went back and forth a few times, hey, I am a designer, not a psychic, but seriously, want to know how much fun is it to go back and forth and throw around ideas about headers until the cows come home with someone you adore?...you can't even put a price on that kind of fun!
Would I sound super cocky saying that I freaking love the result?..oh well.
Oh, and, get familiar with Natalie, and her writing, you will be happy you did!
Need a header? get in touch. Headers make me happy. (that sounds wrong)

getting paid...and what you might have wanted to say at some point.

The whole getting paid part of being a designer, gets grey, doesn't it?
I mean, our self esteem, confidence, self loathing, cockiness, future rent payments...they are all part of it aren't they? But are they?...This video de-personalizes the whole getting paid thing, at least it has for me. I have learned a  lot from this and feel it's my design-duty to share it with you now. So if you design at all, and have clients, or intend to have clients, do yourself a favor and watch.
Because designers are rent paying, food eating, traveling people too dammit! (enjoy, i did!)
By Mike Monteiro of www.muledisign.com

Party PrePacks!

We have some limited quantities left in our warehouse of some of our very best selling boxes, so rather than just having them end quietly, they are going out with a BANG!
We have partnered them with the most adorably coordinating teeny tags for
party favor prepacks. Don't wait too long...they are selling out.

Portfolio Photo Shoot

The other day I woke up and decided that it was time to get organized. And, quickly!
I had an opportunity to get my design work in front of one the biggest giftware companies in the world, and it had to be done within 5 days... In essence, I needed to get my portfolio together. FAST. I could not let this opportunity pass me by, even if the endeavor felt, well, daunting.
I called my close friend and talented photographer Lynn Poulin and asked her if she had time for a sesh, she said "sure girl" in her cute way. I promised that I would do the styling and she could work her magic.
I also frantically called one of my larger clients, who I have just finished up several collections for and asked begged for samples/mock ups to use (since some of the products are in the process of being produced, as we speak!). Although I didn't get all the collections I had hoped to include, I did get enough to show what I am up to these days. The shoot was, I would have to say, one of the very best we have ever done together.
I had gone back and forth in my mind about what to do, super simple, a little styled, a lot styled. I quickly spoke to Lynn about some of my ideas before starting and she pushed me to do my thing.
(partyware for www.pierrebelvedere.com)

It's so easy to get influenced by what we see all over the internet, all over Pinterest, etc, but when I started to play around and just let myself go where I felt the photos needed to go, they turned out very me, very my style, simply put, what I do best. I am excited to share some of my new products/designs with  you.

Packaging the easy way!

You know how you always see such beautiful, simple things in magazines or online and think,
"why don't I ever do something like that?"
I get people telling me that about my little stylings or projects all the time.
So, here's a really simple one.
I used clear cello bags from my local craft store, I picked up a bag of colorful gumballs at the local grocery store and I used teeny tags from my line, which you can buy, right here (and, coincidentally, they are on sale!)
You can put anything inside the bags, of course, the more colorful and fun, the better! How about a homemade cookie or some fun beads and colorful string?...Best party favors ever and most of all, super easy to make!
Now, go forth and have fun!

random photo styling

I have been wanting, for a very long time, to learn how to take good photos. I am using a little point and shoot, but I am determined to get some results with it... I played around today and tried some new things.

If anyone wants to offer up advice, you are MORE than welcome!
I enjoy the styling part much more than the actual clicking part, but I'm hoping that as (if!) I get better, I will enjoy the picture part too.
Here is a little silk scarf in a BlueDogz Design CC box (I think this is a great gift idea!), a teeny tag used as a keychain, some favorite bracelets, an elephant (yep, random) and my favorite aviators (an ebay purchase from many years ago).

I cried, I laughed...I made a new fort!

After yesterday's breakdown, I got back to making something that I had been wanting to make for a while...a new fort for her tiny-ness!
A little over a year ago I put this little sucker together:

It was pretty simple, some large dowel, tied together with lots of ribbon and and old drop cloth that I draped over the structure, trimmed and sort of sewed into place. We had some good times in the little teepee fort, but, since we only have one, broom sized closet in our entire loft, and no where to really hide anything; after the initial new teepee play week was over, it became more of a pain to walk around than much else.
I folded it up, as best I could and hid it as best I could, which wasn't so great, as it ended up kind of sticking out from under the never-used-crib which is right beside the big bed. She still plays with it every so often, but it falls over lots, is getting harder and harder to set up and generally just kind of bugs me.
...Ever since I got KatieFengShui-ed...I don't know, I just have trouble having stuff hanging around that is not really doing anything... So, the other day, there I was on good ole' Pinterest, my favorite time suck (are you following my pins? you should http://pinterest.com/bluedogzdesign )when I came across this little beauty.
Not only was it very very pretty, but I loved that when it wasn't being used, it could be folded up and put away. Here's what happened.

(and, all this with my reverse sewing lever not working on my cheap little sewing machine).
I used, all together now- IKEA fabrics for the details and 2 big canvas drop cloths that I sewed together for the actual house part. You can pick them up at any local hardware store and they are great for these types of projects or for any indoor forts in general. (indoor forts...that almost sounded like...oh, never mind)
I think she is going to LOVE it!

this isn't about design or how to make something

I am never 100% sure if I should or I shouldn't on this blog, (do you ever feel that way?)
I have experienced moments and thought,
"man, I am SO going to blog about this"
and then, I start to type and I delete and that's the end of that.
What usually happens after that is that I don't blog for a while, even a long while.
These past couple of years have not been easy, no, they have been the hardest years of my life, and, they have also been the very best years of my life. I have felt things that I have never felt before, hurt bigger than ever, loved bigger than ever, I guess maybe they go hand in hand.

I sometimes just wish I could get things super clear and focused in terms of my blog, you know, blog about my design life, things that are pretty. But, that's not what life has been like, is life ever really like that?
For some bloggers it looks that way, but I would bet it's not. Because the thing is, we are all human, and even if we love pretty things and get excited about a new product, or some new thing we can't get enough of, we go through stuff and we bring it to our work.
I mean, come on, we are artists, we are people, we feel shit!

This morning I placed a call for my daughter's daddy. I called a place here in Montreal called Criphase, for men who were victims of abuse as children. He has been struggling, REALLY struggling for a long long time, thinking that he can just get over it,  or stop thinking about it. I can't tell you how terrifically painful it has been to watch him suffer, to see his life falling apart slowly but steadily because he simply doesn't know where to put his pain. I see the patterns in his life, his professional relationships, his friendships, they all look the same, he loses, he puts himself in danger, he goes out of his way for the people who never acknowledge him or thank him or care. He seems compelled to run from what is good and safe towards what is risky and mean and dangerous. Then he doesn't like it, and it hurts and it feels bad (as it should) and he beats himself up again for having chosen the same choice, again.
He left 2 years ago to take care of things, because he wanted to do better to "clean stuff up"...
I have learned that all I can really do, is support, care, listen and keep myself and our child safe from pain and disappointment. It really is true, you can't help someone who isn't ready to be helped. May I just say, this has not been the easiest of lessons for me to grasp.
A few days ago he brought up Criphase, he said,
"yeah, I should really give them a call and see what it's about".
I pulled the best poker face I could muster and said- "really? you think?"... We laughed.

But, then he just squirmed and looked all uncomfortable.
I thought about something my Mom once told me about people getting stuck. That we all have places where we get stuck, but sometimes with just a little help over those spots, we can do it, we can move on and get the job done, but, without the help, we quit, and we might always quit at these same spots over and over again. This is what I was thinking about, LOUD in my head... like rapid fire stuck/stuck/stuck/stuck...
I asked him if there was anything I could do to help, could this be his stuck place?
him: "Um, yes, if you want?"
me: "ok, well, REALLY? ... do you want me to call and get some information... maybe?"
him: "yes"
in my head: (HOLY COW. OK! ok, be cool, BE COOL)
I woke up Monday morning and after getting the little one to her play school I dialed the number.
got voicemail. left a message.
Yesterday morning, I woke up and saw that they had called.
I called back and got to the person who had left the message.
The first thing she said to me was:

"Thank you for calling for your daughter's dad, for having the courage to call for him".

Apparently that's all I needed to start sobbing like a baby, like REALLY sobbing.
WTF? I was not abused, I had a great childhood, I was the one who had to be strong, the one holding down the fort, the one making sure our daughter was far away from the pain, felt good, felt safe.
So much for that girl.
As soon as I could breath again, I apologized for the sudden HUGE emotional breakdown and then, worse maybe, I sort of started to laugh, a reaction to my own shock at my own reaction?... Heck, I don't know, all I know is that it apparently had to come out, and I realized, quite quickly during this breakdown that I was probably in pretty darn good hands, so, what the fuck, I let it out.
The words just seemed to flow out of me like some crazy free associative meltdown.
"I didn't expect to start crying like this, it's just, I have seen him in so much pain for such a long time and it hurts so much to see someone you love hurt so much and not be able to do anything to help, and I see the patterns and the people and the pain and it's the same thing over and over again and I just wish, hope, that he can get some help, and, he has NO money, like NO MONEY and I'm trying so hard to be strong and to help and I am... so tired"
and
I started that weird sort of laugh again...and at that point she started to laugh too and we laughed.
We laughed. And, I felt better, relieved, surprised, and maybe even a little excited by the hope that maybe he was ready, ready to get some help, a step towards, maybe. just maybe. For himself, for his kids, for us.
maybe.

Sarah's Chandelier (how to wire a chandelier to plug in)

When my Dad's Mom, my Grammy, passed away several years ago, most of what was left in her apartment was sold. There wasn't a whole lot of great value, but I liked her chandeliers. There were two, one smaller, one a little bigger. I painted the smaller one white and used it in the bedroom of the house I owned with a former boyfriend. That little chandelier, stayed in that house. When former said boyfriend and co-owner of said house turned into very angry person when I wanted to leave, and then even angrier when "negotiating" his purchasing of my portion of the house, said small sweet chandelier got caught up in an apparent custody battle.
I asked him if I could pick it up a few times, but it was clear that he was going to hold that chandelier hostage...I decided to let her go. Seems he felt quite attached to that little fixture. I moved on.
Well, for some reason, I had totally forgotten about the other, larger chandelier...A few weeks ago, as I was truffeling through my father's basement aka my storage area, I came across her... She came to the loft for a visit and I began to ponder her future.
Our loft only has 2 actual spots to wire lighting into the ceiling, one in the kitchen and one in the entrance hall, and I decided to leave the simplistic white ball lights with the foot long stems...I like them, they suit the place. So my first step was deciding that I would like to wire the chandelier to plug in, rather then wire into the ceiling.
I googled like mad and found that the descriptions were a little tedious and complicated.
I went to my local Home Depot with a few photos instead.
this was what I found at the end of the wire (this was where you would wire the chandelier into the ceiling)

 When I opened up the chandelier, it was pretty straightforward...Each of the little lights had both a black and white wire running from it (these wires are attached to the actual candles that hold each light). These wires all met under the ornate bottom cover part of the chandelier, that came off very easily by simply unscrewing the parts beneath it (don't let any of this confuse you, it's super simple and your fixture will likely be a little different anyhow, so don't dwell). All the white wires were assembled with a plastic cap and some electrical tape, all the black wires were assembled with a plastic cap and some electrical tape...c'est tout!

 I checked all the lights to make sure that the wiring was working...I had one broken one, which I was able to replace for $2, the little candles (the electrical bits that your chandelier bulbs screw onto) might look complicated, but again, piece o cake!...like any lamp, you put the white wire around one screw and the black wire around the other, tighten the screws around the wire ends, and voila, done.

So, it was really the wires just hanging out the top that I needed to concern myself with. How to get this situation to plug in. My Home Depot guy showed me how. I bought a simple wire kit with a switch on it and a plug, the ends were bare, like my wire. All I had to do was attach the ends of my wires to the ends of the plug wires, twist a plastic cap onto them to hold them in place and (Home Depot helper suggested) I wrapped each little plastic capped-wire-couple with some electrical tape. DONE!

I then held my breath and plugged her in (with the single chandelier light I had on hand)

Now came the decisions. Style decisions. The fun part. I spent a few days pondering my possibilities... I could spray the entire thing in a fun modern color (once painted, a chandelier is not easy to unpaint...which is fine, but I was not ready yet), what color candlestick covers, what kind of light bulbs...the thoughts went on and on....Finally, not being able to patiently make any decisions, because the excitement of getting it up and working was more than I could handle (you can tell where my life presently is on the excitement scale), I ran (well, I drove) back to Home Depot (whereupon we had a Zombie boy sighting) and, with Tess chatting my ear off and her burning desire to pull every single plant in the plant section off shelves, I spotted some teeny little pink bulbs. Tess approved...she actually more than approved, she did a happy dance, and song and pulled more stuff off shelves in her state of pink bulb happiness. I grabbed 10 of the them, threw her and the bulbs into the shopping cart and high tailed it back home.
Here's what happened. I did not paint, I have not even decided on candlestick covers, I put the little pink bulbs in, placed a big heavy hook into one of our wooden beams and she is so darn pretty that I might not change another darn thing about her. Tess finds the pinkish red lighting fun and exciting and wants it on as soon as she wakes up in the morning until she goes to sleep at night. I will keep you posted if I decide to continue the chandelier transformation, but for right now, I am simply enjoying her prettiness.
And to the ex boyfriend who might still have the smaller chandelier, painted in the distressed white shabby chic-like style of yore, I truly hope you are enjoying your chandelier, as much as we are enjoying ours.

Now, go forth and make something old new again! Make it yours and most of all, enjoy it!